hearing voices

Ok, so sometime back in March, I was nibbling on a red bell pepper from the grocery store and wondered if the seeds inside would grow. Now it's mid May and the plants I germinated from those seeds are disappointingly spleeny. Everything else that's been planted since is going like crazy. I envision a secret garden convo going something like this:

Butternut Squash:(brutish garbage man voice) Where my bitches at? Whatwhat??


Corn: (drag queen voice) Pipe down, over there! You only got here a couple weeks ago, you need to respect your elders!


Watermelon: (southern lady's voice) Yeah, you're not even supposed to be here till the fall, you attention-hog. Just 'cause you got that big-ass trellis you think you're somethin'. You aren't even planted on a big hill like we are!


Butternut Squash: Listen, corn-dogs, everyone here knows you're just a notch or two above the grass that gets walked on! Don't get snarky with me! And you watermelon sissies better watch yourselves. There's only these puny peppers between me and you - and there's only four of you pansy-wanna-bes anyway. I'm just sayin'.


Pinto Bean: (demure lady's voice)Can somebody help a sista out? These flea beetles itch something awful...


Jalapeno: mmrrfffph....rrrmmmpphhhh


Butternut Squash: Who the hell was that?


tiny Red Peppers: (weak, whiny kid's voice) It was my cousins - they've haven't punched thru the soil and this crappy oak leaf mulch yet.


Marigold: (schoolteacher voice) Quiet, All of you malcontents! The two-legs are coming!

Butternut Squash: You mouthy little show-off! You're not the potentate of this garden. You don't even make anything edible! Wait till my leaves are huge - I'll block out the sun and you'll diiiiiieeeeee......

Anyway, anthropomorphic conversations aside, the little red peppers are scraggling along and we've yet to see what they'll become, if anything. Some grocery store veggies are hybrids and others aren't. We'll leave them there a little longer, but if they don't get a move on, they'll be summarily replaced. Maybe with something that can put the butternut squash in its place.